Friday, December 19, 2008
I have a friend who gets a kick out of misunderstanding everything I say. Sometimes I think it's one of the high points of her day, for I don't see her do this to anyone else. It's not that she is unaware of what the opinions of the other friend is about her. Yet for some inexplicable reason she is perfectly fine wth the other one. And after reading this...ayyo! Now I know what witch-hunting must have felt like.
I have an incredibly complex thing going on which is not good. At all. For me. In fact I should ideally stay far far away from me. But the pull, the feel is irresistible. My mind tells me I'd been burned before but that memory seems too far smudged. Like a charcoal vignette rubbed off by my palm when I am sketching. I can't see the lines anymore.
Friday, December 12, 2008
I do not understand you at times. Why do you insist on believing that the rest of the world is out to screw you?? Why such intense distrust?
Remember when I gave you your postcards and you wanted to "check" my stash to verify if I've taken your bicycle one "by mistake, of course, T!" It was a 35pence card with sad wheeled vehicles on it, I see absolutely nothing in it to make me want to hide it from you. Yet you suspected. And you checked. And went away dissatisfied.
Think. Mebbe that feeling of dissatisfaction was stemming from the fact that you suspected a friend of stealing your...and it pains me to even write it, its so awful... postcard!!
The times when you cross-questioned me to see if your secrets were safe...those very secrets which I overheard you tell yourself 2 other people the next day in class.
When you wanted to know the exact details of where we met your then-crush in Nags, what did we say, analyzing each word for any sly come-hither signals I just might have given him...it was incredibly irritating!! Do you realize how insulting you were then?
Remember when you demanded your money back at gym class, emphatic in the absurd notion that some girls hate you?? There will always be cliques. And some you might not be a part of. No one is making you feel out of place but yourself. 'For the world looks yellow to a jaundiced eye...'
Be reasonable. Since we've regular classes on the 5 weekdays, an extra session is only possible during the weekend. Why cheapen urself the way u did by asking for money? "won" such a major battle, did you, at the cost of the genial feelings ppl mite have had for you?
We can all live with civility. Without looking for ways to hurt each other.
I like u, Pearl. But sometimes you make it so hard to get you..
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Put ur misplaced anger to better use...like cleansing ur selfish soul and fighting ur battles. Introspect. See why things happened the way they did.
Pray. Mebbe the Great Lord can be moved to take that old dusty brain out from the mouldy closet near St. Paul's favourite loo,brush those mites off, and hand it to you.
Apologize. You know you have repeatedly hurt someone over and over again. This is not like you.
Grow a Backbone. Will improve your posture in ways you can't fathom.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I cannot see how you choose not to utter one word against those who hurt you, but feel free to insult me.
I cannot comprehend how there are excuses for the way you've continuously treated me this past week - Yet you can't accept those by others.
How long would it have taken me to do the mimicry that day? 30 seconds? 45? Was your anger even worth that time?
Stop pitying yourself. Stop feeling victimized anytime someone so much as looks at you. You are an incredibly typical law skulite. With no qualms at lashing out at others and then immediately scurrying onto a slope carefully marked as "High Moral Ground". You'd rather be an armchair commentator, ready to deride anyone brave enough to step forward and speak. But equally adept at putting up a spluttering, outraged bravado if someone so much as questions your inertia.
I've not deserted you. You've hurt me far too much and too often for me to remain close to you anymore. It's your responsibility people are alienating you. No one else's.
Betrayal. You faced it. And I stood by you. Only to find myself at the brunt of your misguided and confused wrath.
So you don't get to call on me.
I'm done.
Monday, September 15, 2008
I just don't. Remember how in Scream the killer would be wearing this mask with an idiotic grin on it? while chopping off buxom teens...grinning?
Now drawing this imagery to this whole business of ending an absolutely insulting barb on Gtalk/comment with a smiley. This usually after person X might have dissed person Y, with Y deciding to respond.
Are u smiling because you were finally able to string together a proper sentence successfully? Or is there something supremely funny I missed in those offending lines? I mean WHAT are u smiling at??
Or wait...wait you want to show that though you are really, really pissed but that emoticon is reflective of that brave little smile pasted on your face!
God...that's GENIUS!!
Seriously, lots of people do it. Add a smiley to the most random horrible things they are saying to one another. I have seen Gtalk conversations where law skulites are spiting mad with each other...smiling all the time
Creepy.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
En vazhi – thani vazhi - My way is a unique way
Andavan solran. The Giant seiran - God tells,the Giant does
Naan solrathaiyum seiven, sollathathiyum seiven.- “ will do what I say, I will also do what I don’t say!
P.S. The translation is as near to the actual essence of the dialogues as possible. Even if it isn't, just read and enjoy the post macha! kai ko bheja kharab karne ka
Ha!En vazhi – thani vazhi!!
Not responding to conversation directed at u, is yet another difficult art to master, la. Scowl baby...yes yes WORK THE SCOWL! I only need to grimace and judging by the exact dimensions of my scowl, my giant knows if I feel like talking... ANDAVAN SOLRAN, THE GIANT SEIRAN!!!
I personally like the well-oiled mustachioed pahelwaans from UP-Bihar...ummm MUSCLES AND ALL!! Oops, hehe...But Rajni's personal style statement is not too bad...what u don't know Rajni?? The 2nd most important man in Tamilnadu after me - Rajnikanth. Yea him. When in Muthu, I heard those words come out of his mouth, "When I will arrive, or how I will arrive, nobody will know, but I will arrive when I ought to", I FELL IN LOVE,DA! That overweening pride, such gruffness! Me and Rajni: Same to same!!
Naan solrathaiyum seiven, sollathathiyum seiven.
Enough said.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
To this we must add a giant.A giant with a healthy tendency of believing the worst in strawberries. Scraping and bending over for the bureaucracy, the giant defiantly shrills "I to ignore all these tantrums...waat sahib, I'll just get ur paper, anything more? haan so I was saying,I sooo don't put up with all this! ..huh? what wrong paper..yikes!...listen can u wait a sec, sahib doesnt like if my attention wanders...(pause) yea! so where was I?! Yea! u must learn to ignore..."
... what was that, twisting their stalks?? Ah, luxembourg growing, annexation...the strawberries wilt in dismay.
Grimly, the giant turns, "You know, I'd appreciate if you don't disturb sahib? I mean I know bureaucrats have their faults."
(Nervous whisper) "Did I just say faults?!"
"No no, of course not, what I meant was that it can be quite irritating..shit shit, u DID NOT hear me say that! promise me, PROMISE ME!!!"
(Deep breath)
"I might have lost control there a bit...hehe!" (smoothening hair)
(Wild look)
(Licking lips)...
(Look getting wilder)
"Ok, this conversation never happened."
... annexation complete.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
first 5 minuts were painful...Farhan akhtar's voice well...it took getting some used to. And the dialogues!!
But what remains with me after nearly 45 minutes of the movie is the direction...it is surprisingly good. Cut to the scene where Farhan's character Aditya looks at Luke Kenny for a long time after a poignant dialogue...what that one look said, the bitterness, the why-rake-the-past ness, guilt...very very good. I also liked the non-linear narrative style, flashbacks merging well and coming at the right moments.
Arjun Rampal pulls off the retiring guitarist, nagged by his fiesty wife, haunted by his past, the what-could-have-beens decently well...the fact that he has those cheekbones does help ;) !
... Hmmm, Farhan doesnt have a varied repertoire of facial expressions, but i think his earnestness as the young aditya was quite endearing. The dandiya scene was killer!
His character chose to walk away from a life, accepted another with all the grace of a wolf turning vegetarian, but as an audience I got what he felt...the conflict, that's what made the movie!
Aditya's conflict with who he is, Joe's demons..all of that.
I loved Luke Kenny! such controlled acting, the peacebroker of an explosive band, a guy at peace with himself... dude I never knew he was that good! possibly my favourite character in the whole movie..
that desai woman, aditya's wife...God! why is she so screechy...does she not get that man doesnt want to talk...no! keeps coming back again and again...gets snubbed...bt she is the wife...all that training in the K-serials has to be of some use right!?
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
It becomes interesting when u begin to compartmentalize yourself.
like how your horoscope prediction in the TOI has something for everyone, for every disaster you might face in a day...easier to relate to...easier to get accepted by.
______________________________________________________________________
First Years. were we so young ever? and now i cant even imagine how foolish i must've looked ragging my immediate juniors in my newly-acquired status of a senior.
No sooner than u reach 4th yr, that u hear this constant grumble of "how old we're now, macha?"
"look at these bacchas?". Its been one day into college. One day into that ludicrous excuse for a classroom on the 2nd floor. 20-fuckin-somethings, waiting to stab someone in the back, sometimes for the sheer pleasure of 'we can'. Yea man, definitely old...
Monday, June 2, 2008
Ever since those BBC Pride and Prejudice days. Flamed and stirred with the Bridget Jones-falling-for-inexpressive-yet-smouldering-Mark Darcy. Switch to the fight scene between Hugh Grant and Firth- 2 Englishmen hitting each other with their handbags, too afraid to get hit themselves. Realistic cinema, they call it.
Epiphanies at midnight, I like to believe. LPD notes lying carelessly on my table.
Life is like that...eccentrically arcuate.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Bad food but great slime...
the breeze was just right. We had Hey Jude and Scientist competing for critique and attention.
"I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine, we talked until two and then she said..."
yea man DPC is fuckin over!
Am too fuckin’ high
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Everyone's insecure. Yet how we strut!
You know, deep-inside, oh how you know how afraid you really are
Almost sure, looking surreptitiously for tell-tale signs, that she is just as scared, yet a perverse part of your mind eggs you, "Why would she be?"
Feeding on my private horrors
Am licking my old wounds.
..I never thought I was a masochist. Now I find an irresistible pleasure in my pain
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
Next thing I know that this digression into his fascinating life has stopped where he was dumped by the girl-next-door for being a dickhead and is now back to discussing corporate law with manic fervour. A Dickhead. Still.
I look down at my notes. All I have to show for my diligent note-taking are irregular blanks in midst of few words scribbled here and there- "shares" "holding...??" Wait, what is that?
"Sorry to digress from the lecture sir", 43 apologises. Ha! That is all that this bloody course is about!! Arbit reflections on Malayali literature, obscure quotations by some random firangi judge and lascivious smiles at Niranjan..
"No structure man! Itne saal padhane ka faayda kya hua, chutiye buddhe ka," Vino,sitting next to me, explodes.
...I think I agree whole-heartedly with the chutiya bit
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
She smiled..
The muslin was weeping blood.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
aaahumm...
long weekend. And everyone's disappeared. It's like poof!! Like before u can say Gone in 60 seconds, they're gone and all u see are some dust balls hanging mid-air...settling down slowly...with u watchin them. Settle.
As Galahad of Blandings puts it beautifully, 'It's just dashed rotten luck, Cupcake"....
Friday, March 14, 2008
The One Who Likes Playing Games,
Ah!You wonder what was that blue furry thing that just struck you on the back of your head? - Well chum... it was Life passing you by.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
"Hey, sorry ya, I was crapping when u called."
"Yea, Thaaat's what they all say!"
"Huh?!!!
...(Few seconds tick by) No man I'm serious that was what I was doing!"
Rudra- "I made out with Dolly's third cousin at Taika!"
Me- "That's what they all say!"
Rudra- "Impossible! Abu is lying...it was me, it was me!"
Hehe!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I like reading blogs...perhaps because of the romantic notion that the blogger would be revealing himself on a webpage, that you will see his dreams, her random thoughts. At least that’s why I like to read blogs. A friend of mine just does it to point out grammatical mistakes…so well.
But to my utter disappointment, I found NOTHING to surprise me. The angst, the attempts at poetry, the trials and tribulations of a mostly unrequited love life in law skul(so I ain't the only one in the boat?!)
…after going through 2 blogs, Life suddenly appeared to be a rerun of sorts.
Of a once popular daytime soap, now in its 10th season. Exactly. You got what I mean.
No am not going to question: “Why do we blog?” Well if that question is still not clear to you, I’d rather not know you, and hopefully you won’t be sitting next to me in the canteen. The ‘Why’ is answered by the indisputable fact that most people in law skul are lonely. Yea you’ve your girly gang, u have the ‘cool’ness in ur Frat Pack and the ‘Chom’ish elitism. You also managed to get a girl (finally! Or did he…still wondering). But yea u r alone. Coffee-goers, fellow Hegde-worshippers are not close friends, they are fillers for that pleasant half-hour, just like u r in their lives. So we pour out our souls to a blank screen, typing what we have been bottling for far too long. And it’s just not the same as saying to a law-skulite.
and while we are at it, my blog is to entertain me...uh...not you
U take umpteen online quizzes to “discover” urself.
Is your boyfriend marriage-material, what is your aura? (Simply dying to find that out, aren’t we precious?) Whether you are in the right relationship, how much sex u should be having, who knows u better: ur roomie or ur mom? Could you actually be…gasp!…a fashion stooge!?
Hell, we have quizzes to tell u your destiny!!!...just so that u r in the know…We know who you are by carefully phrased bull**** so that we can decide how to fuck with your brain today…And a good day to u too!