Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Foul foul mood.
I have a friend who gets a kick out of misunderstanding everything I say. Sometimes I think it's one of the high points of her day, for I don't see her do this to anyone else. It's not that she is unaware of what the opinions of the other friend is about her. Yet for some inexplicable reason she is perfectly fine wth the other one. And after reading this...ayyo! Now I know what witch-hunting must have felt like.
I have an incredibly complex thing going on which is not good. At all. For me. In fact I should ideally stay far far away from me. But the pull, the feel is irresistible. My mind tells me I'd been burned before but that memory seems too far smudged. Like a charcoal vignette rubbed off by my palm when I am sketching. I can't see the lines anymore.
I have a friend who gets a kick out of misunderstanding everything I say. Sometimes I think it's one of the high points of her day, for I don't see her do this to anyone else. It's not that she is unaware of what the opinions of the other friend is about her. Yet for some inexplicable reason she is perfectly fine wth the other one. And after reading this...ayyo! Now I know what witch-hunting must have felt like.
I have an incredibly complex thing going on which is not good. At all. For me. In fact I should ideally stay far far away from me. But the pull, the feel is irresistible. My mind tells me I'd been burned before but that memory seems too far smudged. Like a charcoal vignette rubbed off by my palm when I am sketching. I can't see the lines anymore.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
It's time I sit and have a heart to heart with you 'Pearl'.
I do not understand you at times. Why do you insist on believing that the rest of the world is out to screw you?? Why such intense distrust?
Remember when I gave you your postcards and you wanted to "check" my stash to verify if I've taken your bicycle one "by mistake, of course, T!" It was a 35pence card with sad wheeled vehicles on it, I see absolutely nothing in it to make me want to hide it from you. Yet you suspected. And you checked. And went away dissatisfied.
Think. Mebbe that feeling of dissatisfaction was stemming from the fact that you suspected a friend of stealing your...and it pains me to even write it, its so awful... postcard!!
The times when you cross-questioned me to see if your secrets were safe...those very secrets which I overheard you tell yourself 2 other people the next day in class.
When you wanted to know the exact details of where we met your then-crush in Nags, what did we say, analyzing each word for any sly come-hither signals I just might have given him...it was incredibly irritating!! Do you realize how insulting you were then?
Remember when you demanded your money back at gym class, emphatic in the absurd notion that some girls hate you?? There will always be cliques. And some you might not be a part of. No one is making you feel out of place but yourself. 'For the world looks yellow to a jaundiced eye...'
Be reasonable. Since we've regular classes on the 5 weekdays, an extra session is only possible during the weekend. Why cheapen urself the way u did by asking for money? "won" such a major battle, did you, at the cost of the genial feelings ppl mite have had for you?
We can all live with civility. Without looking for ways to hurt each other.
I like u, Pearl. But sometimes you make it so hard to get you..
I do not understand you at times. Why do you insist on believing that the rest of the world is out to screw you?? Why such intense distrust?
Remember when I gave you your postcards and you wanted to "check" my stash to verify if I've taken your bicycle one "by mistake, of course, T!" It was a 35pence card with sad wheeled vehicles on it, I see absolutely nothing in it to make me want to hide it from you. Yet you suspected. And you checked. And went away dissatisfied.
Think. Mebbe that feeling of dissatisfaction was stemming from the fact that you suspected a friend of stealing your...and it pains me to even write it, its so awful... postcard!!
The times when you cross-questioned me to see if your secrets were safe...those very secrets which I overheard you tell yourself 2 other people the next day in class.
When you wanted to know the exact details of where we met your then-crush in Nags, what did we say, analyzing each word for any sly come-hither signals I just might have given him...it was incredibly irritating!! Do you realize how insulting you were then?
Remember when you demanded your money back at gym class, emphatic in the absurd notion that some girls hate you?? There will always be cliques. And some you might not be a part of. No one is making you feel out of place but yourself. 'For the world looks yellow to a jaundiced eye...'
Be reasonable. Since we've regular classes on the 5 weekdays, an extra session is only possible during the weekend. Why cheapen urself the way u did by asking for money? "won" such a major battle, did you, at the cost of the genial feelings ppl mite have had for you?
We can all live with civility. Without looking for ways to hurt each other.
I like u, Pearl. But sometimes you make it so hard to get you..
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Go shout at Goth and Seth, man... U can't even defend ur alleged piety to those sorry asses, and have the gall to tell me off!?
Put ur misplaced anger to better use...like cleansing ur selfish soul and fighting ur battles. Introspect. See why things happened the way they did.
Pray. Mebbe the Great Lord can be moved to take that old dusty brain out from the mouldy closet near St. Paul's favourite loo,brush those mites off, and hand it to you.
Apologize. You know you have repeatedly hurt someone over and over again. This is not like you.
Grow a Backbone. Will improve your posture in ways you can't fathom.
Put ur misplaced anger to better use...like cleansing ur selfish soul and fighting ur battles. Introspect. See why things happened the way they did.
Pray. Mebbe the Great Lord can be moved to take that old dusty brain out from the mouldy closet near St. Paul's favourite loo,brush those mites off, and hand it to you.
Apologize. You know you have repeatedly hurt someone over and over again. This is not like you.
Grow a Backbone. Will improve your posture in ways you can't fathom.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I'm done.
I cannot see how you choose not to utter one word against those who hurt you, but feel free to insult me.
I cannot comprehend how there are excuses for the way you've continuously treated me this past week - Yet you can't accept those by others.
How long would it have taken me to do the mimicry that day? 30 seconds? 45? Was your anger even worth that time?
Stop pitying yourself. Stop feeling victimized anytime someone so much as looks at you. You are an incredibly typical law skulite. With no qualms at lashing out at others and then immediately scurrying onto a slope carefully marked as "High Moral Ground". You'd rather be an armchair commentator, ready to deride anyone brave enough to step forward and speak. But equally adept at putting up a spluttering, outraged bravado if someone so much as questions your inertia.
I've not deserted you. You've hurt me far too much and too often for me to remain close to you anymore. It's your responsibility people are alienating you. No one else's.
Betrayal. You faced it. And I stood by you. Only to find myself at the brunt of your misguided and confused wrath.
So you don't get to call on me.
I'm done.
I cannot see how you choose not to utter one word against those who hurt you, but feel free to insult me.
I cannot comprehend how there are excuses for the way you've continuously treated me this past week - Yet you can't accept those by others.
How long would it have taken me to do the mimicry that day? 30 seconds? 45? Was your anger even worth that time?
Stop pitying yourself. Stop feeling victimized anytime someone so much as looks at you. You are an incredibly typical law skulite. With no qualms at lashing out at others and then immediately scurrying onto a slope carefully marked as "High Moral Ground". You'd rather be an armchair commentator, ready to deride anyone brave enough to step forward and speak. But equally adept at putting up a spluttering, outraged bravado if someone so much as questions your inertia.
I've not deserted you. You've hurt me far too much and too often for me to remain close to you anymore. It's your responsibility people are alienating you. No one else's.
Betrayal. You faced it. And I stood by you. Only to find myself at the brunt of your misguided and confused wrath.
So you don't get to call on me.
I'm done.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
